


Threads

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:46:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has issues with fatherhood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Threads

## Threads

by Grey

Author's website:  <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

* * *

Title: Threads  
Author: Grey  
Fandom: The Sentinel  
Pairing: J/B  
Rating: NC-17  
Status: New/Complete  
Archive: Yes  
Email: Grey853@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: No  
Date: July 2001  
Website: <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/> Disclaimer: Not mine. 

Summary: Jim has issues with fatherhood. 

Notes: Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for her support and friendship. 

Warnings: This isn't a "typical" Grey story. I wrote it because I see Jim as a very complex and troubled man who needs to deal with some issues. There's no violence against either Jim or Blair, no immediate danger, just lots of Jim angst, tons of it. For those who like that sort of thing, enjoy. 

Threads  
by Grey 

Sitting on the park bench, Jim squeezed his partner's shoulder and smiled. "You're quite the entertainer, Chief. Next thing you know, they'll be wanting autographs, once they can read that is." 

"Very funny, man." Blair laughed as he pushed his hair back and watched the circle of children listening to the new speaker, a young Asian woman telling the story about a fierce Chinese dragon as she used silk scarves to accent the tale. "I think most of them liked hearing about the Amazon even if they're not sure exactly where that is yet." 

"I know they did. It's a little hard to keep the attention of a crowd of five-year-olds otherwise. You've got the knack for telling a story. Now, if we can just get the guys in the bullpen to the park and charge admission, you'll have your next career lined up." 

"Like I've got time for another one." 

Jim frowned at the tone and studied the tired features. "I know it's been a tough few weeks, Chief, but it's bound to slow down now that we've got Grawmeyer in custody." 

"I know." Blair sighed and sat back. "I'm glad I decided to do this. Amy asked me last month and I didn't know if I'd have time, but it was fun." 

"You're good with kids." Jim eased his hand to the nape of Blair's neck and stroked it gently as his voice teased, "Of course, that could be because you're a kid at heart." 

Chuckling, Blair nodded and relaxed at Jim's touches. "I like kids. They've got all this incredible energy." 

"Because they suck all the energy from the grown ups." 

"God, you're a cynical bastard." 

"But you still love me, right?" 

Blair turned, his dark blue eyes meeting Jim's. "You already know it." 

"If we didn't have an audience, I'd kiss you." 

"We could go hide in the bushes." 

"Not with Sally Jo staring." 

Blair glanced over at his number one fan, a little blond girl who watched his every move with absolute adoration. Smiling, Blair waved before turning back to Jim. "Guess we'll have to save it for later and go back to work then." 

"We could make a quick stop at the loft." 

Standing up, Blair shouldered his back pack and chuckled. "God, Jim, maybe we need to get you a cold shower." 

"Or get you some jeans that don't show your religion." 

"Come on, man. They're not that tight." 

"If they were any tighter, I'd have to arrest you." Jim stood up and grinned as he placed his hand in the small of Blair's back to guide him to the truck. He leaned closer, careful that no one listened. "Then again, I might have to do a strip search later." 

"Gee, officer, what big dreams you have." 

"All the better to feel you up, my dear." 

Blair laughed out loud as he approached the truck, his face happy and his eyes sparkling. "So, I get to be Little Red Riding Hood and you're the big, bad wolf?" 

"Last I heard, you were the wolf, babe." 

Blair shook his head and motioned to the vehicle. "Just get in the truck, man, before you hurt yourself. We're running late as it is." As they climbed inside, Blair put his bag on the floorboard between his legs and pulled his seat belt on. Jim started the engine, but didn't pull out of the space right away. "What's wrong, Jim?" 

Avoiding Blair's worried gaze, Jim focused on the view through the windshield. "Sometimes I just want to get away from it all." 

"Especially after a case like this one." 

"I think I'll ask Simon for a couple of days off." Jim reached over and took Blair's hand, his voice hushed. "You think you can get tomorrow and Friday off? We could go somewhere, just the two of us. Would you like that?" 

Hesitating, Blair squeezed his hand. "Sure, but it's short notice. I'll have to see if Tammy can cover my classes." 

"Bribe her if you have to. I really need to get away from this shit." 

"I can see that." Blair caressed his face and then he leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Let's go back to work and then we'll figure out the details later." 

"I don't really care where we go." 

"Me, neither. Maybe we could go to Joel's cabin. Or we could go camping. The weather's not too bad." 

Jim sighed and put his hands on the wheel, his face finally more relaxed as he pulled out into traffic. "Just as long as we're together." 

Blair leaned back and smiled. "Leave it to me, man. I'll make the arrangements and surprise you." 

"No more monasteries, Chief." 

Playfully swatting Jim's shoulder, Blair snorted. "Wouldn't dream of it, Jim, not with your habits." 

Jim leered at his lover. "Your body's sacred, Sandburg, but I don't want to fuck you on holy ground if I can help it." 

"What about a blow job?" 

"I'll sing hallelujah, but not with the brothers in ear shot, thanks. It just wouldn't be right." 

Blair shook his head and whispered, "So, does this mean you still feel guilty about all those transgressions we committed the last time we were there?" 

Flushing, Jim gripped the wheel tightly, his cock aching and hungry. He remembered the groping together in the dark, the urgent musky passion, the deep thrusts as he took Blair for the first time in the bell tower. Shifting in his seat, he kept his voice from whining in frustration. "That was different. Besides, it still felt weird doing it there. Let's just find some place a little more private." 

"Sure, man." Leaning back, Blair smiled mischievously. "I've got a good place in mind. We'll have a great time." 

"Just so it doesn't include whips and chains, Chief, I'm there." 

"Killjoy." 

"Pervert." 

Sneaking a hand to Jim's crotch, Blair fondled the bulge between his legs as he whispered with conviction. "Mine." 

Jim didn't argue and worked like hell to keep from wrecking the truck as he swerved in traffic. 

* * *

"I'm sorry, Jim. I can give you Friday, but tomorrow Grawmeyer and his attorney wants to meet with you and the DA." 

"About?" 

"About picking holes in your testimony most likely." 

Jim sat back, disappointed and disgusted. "His attorney should take the deal and stop fucking around, Simon. If Grawmeyer goes to trial, a jury might send his ass to the chair." 

"I agree, but this guy's new. He doesn't know your reputation for solid cases yet. Then again, if he were a decent lawyer, he'd know from the reports that his client is doomed for conviction." 

"If he were a decent lawyer, he wouldn't have that scumbag for a client." 

"There's that, too." 

Simon leaned back in his desk chair and then picked up a mug. Taking his time, he poured himself some coffee. "So, what's going on, Jim? Why the request for time off?" 

"I've got the days, sir." 

"Because you never take them, which brings me back to my question. What's going on? Is it this case?" 

Uneasy, Jim stood and walked to the window, his back to his captain. "I'm just tired. This case, well, it's brought up some stuff." 

"Stuff? What kind of stuff?" 

"Stuff I don't want to talk about." 

"Have you told Sandburg?" 

Jim closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. "No, and I don't want you to, either." 

Frowning, Simon moved from behind his desk and stepped closer. "Jim, are you okay?" 

"Not really. I just need some downtime." 

"Then take it. Take Friday and Monday. That'll give you a four day weekend. Will that be enough?" 

"I hope so." Jim paused and glanced at his friend. "Don't worry, Simon. I'm not going off the deep end or anything so dramatic." 

"Glad to hear it." Simon patted his shoulder and moved back to his desk. He picked up a cigar, his face still solemn as he sat down and lit it. Taking several puffs, he took pleasure in the flavor. After a few moments, he paused and spoke quietly. "You should talk to Blair about this, Jim. I know you said you didn't want to tell him about it, but he has a right to know whatever it is that's bothering you. He's your partner, not just on the job but for life. Besides, he's bound to notice sooner or later." 

"I appreciate your concern, but I'll deal with it." 

"I hope so. In the meantime, you might want to finish up that final report and get ready for tomorrow." 

"Sure. The independent DNA results are back so I can just add that to the list of damning evidence." 

"All the better to send his ass to prison. Works for me, detective." 

"Yes, sir." Jim left the office, heading for his desk to call Blair and tell him about the change in plans. As he picked up the phone, he stopped and eyed the pink slip, the name of the caller jumping out at him. He slumped down in his chair and picked up the paper. "Damn." 

Brown leaned back in his chair and rolled a little in Jim's direction, his voice concerned. "You okay, man?" 

Wiping his face with one hand, Jim blinked several times and took a deep breath. "Yeah, H, I'm fine." He didn't elaborate and after a few moments, Brown returned to his own work. Jim fingered the paper and then put it back down. Why the fuck would she be calling him now after all this time? 

Reluctantly, he dialed the long distance number using his own credit card. He waited several rings before he heard the familiar voice. "Carolyn, what's going on?" 

"Jim? Thanks for getting back to me so quickly." 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. I just needed to talk to you about something." 

Relieved, Jim sat back, the irritation growing. "Couldn't you have called at the loft?" 

"I could've, but I didn't want to talk to Blair. I wanted to talk to you." 

Jim ignored the dig at his partner and kept his voice neutral. "About what?" 

"I don't want to do this over the phone. Could I see you this weekend? I can fly there or I can pay for a ticket for you to come here." 

"I'm busy this weekend. Blair and I are going out of town." 

Silence lasted several long moments. "Jim, this is really important. I wouldn't ask if it weren't." 

Clenching his jaw, turning his back to the rest of the bullpen, Jim lowered his voice. "Just tell me what you want." 

"I want a baby." 

"A what?" 

"Edie and I want a child and I want you to be the father." 

Fuck. Jim moved the phone from his ear and shook his head. When he listened again, Carolyn spoke quietly. "Edie and I have talked about it. I want you to be the donor." 

"Are you serious?" 

"Jim, I know it didn't work out between us, but I want a baby and I don't want some stranger to be the father of my child." 

"I don't think so, Carolyn. You know how I feel about this." 

"Jim, please. I can fly down next weekend and we can talk and I can answer any questions." She paused, her voice a bit tighter. "Now that you're with Sandburg, you're not likely to have any kids. Just think about it. Please. I need this." 

Nearly paralyzed, Jim forced his voice to work. "I'll think about it." 

* * *

Jim sipped the beer and stared off into the night, the city almost as bright and busy as during daylight. Carolyn's plaintive voice played over in his mind as he thought back to their marriage. Scene after scene he heard her asking about starting a family, talking fondly about her sister's children, softly pleading for a baby to make her life complete. Again and again, he found excuses to avoid that commitment, ways to keep his wife at a distance, working desperately to keep his father and his own childhood out of his head as he argued against it. 

"Jim, are you okay, man?" 

Blair's voice shut down the past momentarily and Jim turned away from the window. "I'm fine." 

"You haven't said three words since you got home." 

"Sorry." Jim finished off the last of his beer and walked to the kitchen, his body and mind sluggish. It hurt to remember so he tried not to, tried to keep the pain locked down and restrained. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed another beer. 

Worried, Blair shifted on the sofa and pushed back his hair. He patted the seat beside him. "Come sit down, man. We need to talk." 

"I'm tired. I'm not in the mood to talk." 

"Then just sit and we can make out." Blair smiled and leaned back, his legs spread in a blatant invitation. 

Jim chuckled at the ploy and shook his head. "A few kisses and you'll start in with the questions." 

"And you'll be at my mercy. Come on. Get over here and tell me what's going on inside that head of yours." 

Reluctantly, Jim sagged down and put his drink on the coffee table. He allowed Blair to pull his head into his lap and closed his eyes as his lover petted and caressed his face. "Feels good, Chief." 

Jim relaxed as strong fingers traced his checks and jaw, hands trailing down to his stomach, massaging his body lightly. After several minutes, Jim opened his eyes when Blair's hands stopped moving and palmed his chest. "Talk to me, Jim. Tell me what's wrong." 

"Nothing's wrong." 

"Don't give me that, man. I know there's something bothering you, has been ever since we started the case. I thought it'd get better once we got the guy, but it's worse." Blair hesitated, his voice concerned. "It's starting to worry me. Is it something I've done?" 

Jim captured his lover's hand and squeezed it. "This isn't about you, Blair. It's me." 

"Let me help." 

Sighing, Jim sat up and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. "It's complicated. I'm not even sure I understand it myself." 

"Is it about your dad?" 

Startled, Jim met Blair's steady gaze. "What makes you think that?" 

"Grawmeyer lived under the thumb of his father for years, man, giving up his life, begging for the approval that never came." 

"But he didn't have a right to kill him. He could've just left." 

"Like you did?" 

"I never wanted to kill my father, Sandburg." 

"Of course not, but you can't deny that this is bound to stir up some serious unresolved issues about what he did when you were a kid. Is that why you haven't been sleeping?" 

His body tense, Jim stood and paced in front of the window several times before he stopped, his hand rubbing the back of his head. "I keep thinking back to what it must have been like for him. I mean, having a sentinel for a kid couldn't have been easy." 

"It wasn't easy being you, either." 

"No, it wasn't." Jim swallowed hard, the hurt swelling up as he remembered so many times when he wanted his father to hug him, to tell him even once that he loved him, that he wasn't a freak or a worthless shit of a boy. "I didn't know that he knew. I thought he thought I made everything up. Sometimes I'd catch him staring at me with this look and it scared me." 

"Look? What look?" 

"Like he hated me." 

"Ah, Jim." Blair stood up and moved closer, his arms wrapping his waist to pull him in. A hand cupped his head and Jim dropped his face to Blair's shoulder. "He never hated you." 

"I know." But he didn't know, not really. Jim lifted his head and caressed Blair's face. "I love you, Blair." 

"I love you, too, Jim." 

Leaning down, Jim kissed full lips that trembled with the whisper of his name. Revived, he led Blair upstairs to revel in his spirit and his faith. 

* * *

Later, Jim lay quietly as Blair's head rested on his chest, his heartbeat steady with sleep, the strong musk of his sex fixed in Jim's thoughts. He couldn't imagine his life without his partner, without his constant support and understanding. With Carolyn intimacy escaped him, made him uneasy, but with Blair he craved the closeness. 

Blair's breathing hitched as the younger man shifted with a soft groan. Pulling away, he lifted his head. "You still awake?" 

"Can't sleep." 

Rolling over, Blair glanced at the clock and then pushed his hair out of his face before settling back into Jim's embrace. "It's three in the morning." 

"There's something I need to tell you." 

"What?" 

"Carolyn called today." 

Blair's body stiffened in his arms and Jim held him more tightly. "What did she want?" 

"She wants a baby." 

"With you?" 

"She wants me to be a donor, yeah." 

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Maybe I was afraid of what you might say." 

Sitting up, Blair pulled the sheets higher and tucked hair behind his right ear. "What did you think I might say?" 

"I thought you might want me to do it." 

"And you don't want to?" 

"No..." 

"But?" 

"But she really wants a baby. She always did." 

"And you never wanted it?" 

"No. I was afraid of having kids, Chief. What if they turned out like me?" 

"You mean because of the sentinel thing?" 

"That's part of it now, but back then there were other things." 

"Other things?" Blair frowned as he turned slightly and studied him. "Jim, does this have to do with what we were talking about earlier, the thing about you and your dad?" 

"Maybe." 

"Are you afraid you'll end up like him and hurting your kid?" 

Jim avoided the intent gaze and rolled over on his side, his back to Blair. "I doubt with Carolyn and Edie living in San Francisco that they'd want me to be an active father. I just think it's a bad plan. If the kid had sentinel abilities, he'd be fucked. I don't want to risk that." 

A hand ghosted his back and then settled on his shoulder as Blair spooned in behind him. "Sentinels have been around forever. They adapt and survive, plus, I can help. I could show Carolyn what to do." 

"She might not even want me to be a donor if I tell her about being a sentinel." 

"Her loss." 

"You think I should do this?" 

"I think you should consider it." Blair paused and his voice softened. "You've got great genes, Jim. This might be the only way you'll ever pass them on." 

"I think it's a mistake." 

"Then don't do it, but be honest about why you make the decision, okay?" 

Jim pulled away and sat up, suddenly pissed. "What the fuck does that mean?" 

"It means I think you're afraid of being your father and you're wrong. You'll never be like him." 

"It's more complicated than that." 

"I know that, but I just think you should take time and think about all the good things as well as the bad. You might find out that it could be the best thing that ever happened, having a little Ellison running around." 

"Even if I can't raise him?" 

"Or her. Yeah, Jim, even then." 

No longer angry, Jim lay back down into the waiting arms of his lover and took several deep breaths. "A little Ellison, huh?" 

"Yeah. Of course, you'd have to get Carolyn to agree to that since she's going by Plummer." 

Jim groaned, thinking of all the details, all the threads that bound him to so many other people if he decided to have a child. 

* * *

"Detective, it's obvious that you have a problem with my client." 

Jim contained his anger and smiled slowly as he sat back, his hand to his chin. "Your client's in jail, Mr. Gleason. I've got no problem with that." 

Gleason frowned and leaned forward. "Your attitude has been hostile from the beginning. Your arrest of my client left him with bruises." 

"Your client resisted." 

"And you weren't overzealous?" 

His chest tightened as Jim took a deep breath. "Your client killed his father, counselor. Trying to deflect attention to me won't help his case. If you want to file charges for brutality, go ahead, but I did my job with minimum force under the circumstances." His voice hardened. "In fact, I used a great deal of restraint considering that at one point he had a gun to my partner's head." Jim focused his a fierce gaze on Grawmeyer. "I could have shot him." 

Grawmeyer's weak voice interrupted the verbal volleys. "Why didn't you?" 

Jim hesitated, his mind reliving the stark terror of seeing Grawmeyer grab his partner, the gun leveled at his temple. Without Blair as a witness, Grawmeyer would've been a dead man, no question. He considered the truth only briefly before he finally answered. "I didn't need to. My partner knocked the gun away." 

"Which gave you a clean shot. You could've killed me. You wanted to. I could see it." 

"Is that how you looked when you killed your father?" 

Grawmeyer sat back, his face pale, as he pushed the thin, dark hair away from his face. The haggard features didn't bode well for a long stay in prison. "I didn't mean to do that. It was an accident." 

"Nine shots at point blank range don't support that contention. Neither does the fact that you tried to cover up the evidence." 

Gleason shook his head. "Randy was under great stress at the time. Reduce the charges to manslaughter and we'll consider pleading guilty." 

"Not in this lifetime, counselor." 

"Maybe you should let the DA make that decision." 

"If he ever gets here, I will. But right now your client is charged with first degree murder, assault, obstruction of justice, and resisting arrest." Jim folded up his file and stood up. 

"You can't make a case for first degree, not with my client's history. His father was abusive." 

"There's no solid evidence to support that." 

"Have you even looked?" 

Jim clenched his jaw as he stood straighter, his back and shoulder muscles tensing. "You've seen the files, Gleason. Every witness report is in there. Now, I suggest you confer with your client and when the DA gets here, you hash out the details with him." 

Grawmeyer looked up, his face slack and his voice a strained whisper. "I didn't mean to kill him. He just wouldn't shut up. He just kept calling me stupid and I'm not." 

Gleason put a stilling hand on his client's shoulder. "Be quiet, Randy. Ellison doesn't care about that." The broken man lowered his head as Gleason turned his attention back to Jim. "We're through here, detective. For now." 

Seething, Jim stepped out the door and slammed it behind him before heading back to Simon's office. He barely responded to the greetings as he passed through the bullpen. His captain glanced up and frowned. "You look like a long stretch of bad road. What's up?" 

"Where the hell was the DA?" 

Simon sat back, his face serious. "He got delayed. Didn't you get my message?" 

"No, and neither did Gleason." 

"I'm sorry, but there's no harm done. They'll meet this afternoon." 

"If I'm not up on charges first." 

"Why? What happened?" 

Pacing the small office, Jim gripped his forehead with one hand, his pounding headache making it hard to focus. "Nothing really." 

"Why don't I believe that?" 

"Grawmeyer killed his father, pure and simple. He could've killed Sandburg. So why do I feel like shit here?" 

"Patricide is never pure and simple. You have to wonder what the hell went wrong when a son kills his own father. Maybe that's what's bothering you. Maybe you see a little of yourself in Grawmeyer." 

Jim put a hand against the wall to steady himself, his stomach knotted as he spoke quietly. "Blair said the same thing, but I don't buy it." 

"Then what do you buy?" 

"I think it's more that I could've become him." 

"And that scares you." 

"Wouldn't it scare you?" 

Simon pondered the question several long moments, weighing his words carefully. "When was the last time you talked to your father, Jim?" 

Lifting his head, Jim turned and wrapped his arms around himself. "You know when it was, right after the strangler case." 

"Why?" 

"Why?" 

"Yeah, Jim, why? He's your father. I know you've had problems, but he's not getting any younger and neither are you. Whatever he did, it might be time to work through it before it's too late." 

"I don't know if I can do that." 

"I don't know if you can afford not to." 

"You don't understand, Simon." 

Simon's face softened and he leaned forward, his hands fisted together on the desk. "Jim, whatever's eating you up inside isn't going to get better by pretending it's not there. I think you have to deal with it no matter how painful it is." 

Nodding, Jim turned away again, the light too bright, his eyes stinging. "You're probably right. I just can't deal with all that right now. There's too much other stuff going on." 

"What other stuff?" 

Hesitating, Jim decided to move the discussion to another realm. "What would you do if someone you cared about asked you to father her child?" 

"Damn, Jim, what kind of question is that? Don't tell me Sandburg's got a friend who wants a baby." 

"Actually, it's Carolyn." 

"Shit. No wonder you're a mess." 

"She always wanted kids." 

"And now she's living with that Gomez woman and she wants you to be a donor?" 

"Yeah." Jim sagged down at the conference table, his body aching and tired. "I failed her when we were married, so this might be a way for making up for that. At the same time, it could be a disaster. I don't know if I could just have a child without being involved somehow." 

Simon moved from behind the desk and sat across from Jim, his face grim. "Look, the first thing you have to do is find out all the details. Surely she wouldn't expect you just to donate and not be involved. She knows you better than that. And second, what does Sandburg think?" 

"He likes the idea." Jim met concerned brown eyes. "What do you think, Simon?" 

"I think it's a hell of a risk, but then fatherhood always is." 

"You think I should do it?" 

"I think you should know a lot more before you make up your mind. This could be the most important decision you've ever made." 

"No pressure." 

"I'm serious, Jim. Having Daryl was the best thing that ever happened to me. It changed my life completely. But I'm not you and it's not the same situation." 

"There's just so much at stake." 

"I know." Simon stood up and patted Jim on the shoulder. "But you don't have to decide anything right away." As he moved to the desk, he picked up his coffee. "So, where are you and Sandburg going on your time off?" 

"He hasn't told me." 

"No clues?" 

"No. He said he wants it to be a surprise." 

"Oh lord." 

Jim smiled in agreement, secretly pleased with Blair's clever plans to love and amuse him. 

* * *

Jim finished scrubbing the bathroom and put away the last of the brushes and tools under the kitchen sink. He washed his hands and glanced up at the clock again, wondering whether to call Blair about dinner or to wait for his lover's arrival. The decision stalled as the door opened. "Hey, Chief. You're home early." 

"You, too. What happened?" 

"Nothing much." Jim wiped his hands quickly and moved to take Blair in his arms, his lips pressing hard, his need strong and growing. "God, I missed you." 

Blair laughed, his soft chuckle muted by Jim's eager mouth. Pushed back against the closed door, Jim ground against him, his cock awake and impatient. 

"Oh, man, you smell like bleach." 

"Been cleaning." Ignoring his lover's natural inclination to converse, Jim busied himself, lifting Blair's shirt and running his hand up under the cloth. He teased nipples, the hardening nubs heating up with his touch. Soft moans and whimpers spurred him further as he licked Blair's throat and then kissed him even harder, a faint trace of mint tingling his tongue. 

"Upstairs. Now, Jim." With no argument, he grabbed Blair's arm and led him up the stairs quickly. Both men hurried to strip, the younger man the first to fall on the bed naked, his eyes wide and dark with arousal. "Hurry up, man." 

Kicking off his boxers, Jim stood by the bed between spread legs gazing down at his partner. Blair's erection stood up proudly from a nest of dark curls, the head swollen and leaking. Smiling, Jim kneeled on the floor, his hands spreading the thighs further apart as he stroked the heated skin, the whisper of hair tickling his palms. Legs trembled as he positioned Blair on the bed, his knees up, his heels digging into the edge of the mattress. Carefully, Jim fondled the balls and then licked the underside of Blair's cock, the veins pulsing. Blair's groans made his own groin tingle as he suckled the shaft and then lifted it to dip down and flick between his asscheeks. Jerking up, Blair writhed and begged as Jim delved deeper. Using tongue and finger, he tortured the hole until his lover whimpered for mercy. 

Rising, Jim shifted Blair further up on the bed, his expectant body shaking as Jim reached for the tube of KY jelly on the bedside table. He draped the younger man's legs over his shoulders and then flipped open the tube, spreading the cold gel deliberately. He focused on the blue want of Blair's eyes, the hunger screaming through every muscle as he eased his cock slowly into the slippery passage. The grip on his cock sparked heat through his gut, his balls aching. He pushed in harder as Blair's breathing quickened, his gaze never wavering from Jim's. Impaled completely he leaned forward, Blair's body rolled back on itself as he kissed him. Flame scorched through his lungs as he pumped, his slow rhythm increasing, his starvation fed by the matching thrusts to meet his passion. Blair kissed him with every part of his body, with every bead of sweat, with every savage hum of his desire to match Jim's frantic movements. 

Eyes squeezed shut, Jim rocked and gathered the pressure, his mind roaring, the light expanding like a flash of quicksilver spreading out beyond all sight as release shook him. His spine arched as he shuddered and came, overwhelmed by the absolute pleasure of loving Blair Sandburg. 

Arms grabbed him, locking his chest against the pounding beat as his lover shook beneath him. Blair screamed into his neck as he bit down, the bite one more delicious sensation melded into his psyche. Whiskers scraped his raw skin as his lover sighed and rubbed his face against his shoulder. 

"God, I love you, man." 

Jim kissed Blair and swallowed his words, more than satisfied to feed and live off all the sacred pledges between them. 

* * *

Jim leaned back against the counter, his body aching with a delicious kind of pain as he sipped his coffee. Showered and fresh, tiny bite marks throbbed along his neck and shoulders, each one a brand and token from the man he loved. He glanced up and smiled as Blair eased himself into a chair with a groan. "You okay, Chief?" 

"Jesus, Jim, you've fucked me five times since I got home last night. You have to ask?" 

"A little sore, huh?" 

Blair leaned back as accepted the offered mug of steaming coffee, his eyes still bleary from waking. "I'm not complaining." 

Jim kissed his whiskery cheek and sighed happily as he sat down beside him. "Wouldn't do much good if you did. You make me crazy." 

"Horny more like." 

"Yeah, that, too." 

Blair tasted the coffee and set the mug down as he met Jim's gaze. "Don't take this the wrong way, man, but are you okay? You haven't been this insatiable since the first few weeks we got together." 

Jim's good mood wavered as his voice hardened. "I wasn't alone up there, Chief. You came every time I did." 

Blair leaned closer and patted Jim's hand. "I most certainly did, thank you very much." 

"You're welcome. So what's the problem?" 

"That's what I'm asking you. I know I'm irresistible and all, but damn." 

"Afraid you can't keep up?" 

Grinning, Blair took up the challenge. "I can handle anything you've got Ellison. I'll prove it this weekend. Be prepared to fuck and suck until you drop." 

His cock twitched and hardened as he focused on Blair's full lips, his nasty talk sending a sizzle through his belly. "I love your mouth." 

"Yeah?" 

"Oh, yeah." His words husky, Jim thumbed his lover's lower lip and whispered, "On your knees, Sandburg." 

Breath quickened, cheeks flushed, Blair hesitated only a second before he sank to the floor as Jim scooted back from the table. Slowly, Blair unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, Jim lifting up to let steady hands slide them off along with his boxers. Sitting there exposed, his legs spread wide, Blair fondled him gently. He took care to stroke and roll his sacs before leaning in and licking the tip. Head falling back, Jim groaned and thrust up only to have Blair push his hips back down. "Steady, man. I'll do this. Be still." 

Sweat slicked his thighs as he trembled, Blair's mouth his focus. He nodded and watched intently as lips engulfed the tip, wildfire blazing up his middle. Using one hand to control his erection and the other his balls, Blair licked and suckled his cock like candy, hazy kisses zinging Jim's skin. Arching up, Jim grunted as heat rammed his heart, his brain exploding with spider webs of light. He came hard, his hand cupping the back of Blair's head to hold him close, his mouth a paradise of pleasure. Wave after wave rocked him as Blair sucked even harder, the last drops of energy swollen and tender. Jesus, he couldn't stop coming and didn't want to. 

An eager tongue licked and cleaned him and then Blair stood and straddled his lap, his musky kiss tasting like fresh sex. Naked under his robe, Blair's erection pressed into his belly, the heat singing his skin as he rested his head on Jim's shoulder. "Better than an algae shake anytime." 

Chuckling, Jim eased him back, his hand wrapping Blair's needy cock. "It's even better with good service." 

Blair's eyes closed as Jim stroked him, the rhythm building as the effort to bring him off increased. Curls plastered Blair's face and he whimpered in pleasure before he tensed and came. Pulling his lover close, Jim kissed him and then brought his fingers up, pressing them to Blair's mouth. "Dessert." 

Obediently, his eyes staring into Jim's, Blair suckled each finger slowly and then lapped the palm and the back of the hand. Jim shuddered, his lover's tongue fiery and sensual. "God, you're so damn sexy when you do that." Jim ravaged his partner's mouth, the sharp flavor of Blair mixed with his own. He adored the combination and his cock ached in the frustration of a slow recovery. 

Blair pulled away and rested his forehead against Jim's. "You're amazing, Jim." 

"You're not so bad yourself, babe." 

Laughing softly, Blair relaxed in his arms and remained on his lap. "It's going to be a great weekend." 

"If we don't fuck ourselves to death first." 

"But what a way to go, man." 

Jim couldn't agree more. 

* * *

Jim sat back in the porch rocker, his feet up on the railing as he sipped a cold beer. "Very nice, Chief." 

Perched on the railing seat, Blair nodded and looked out over the forest. "It's beautiful." 

"And private." 

"Yeah, that, too. Christy's done a great job. To be honest, I didn't think it would be this successful considering how seasonal a business like this is." 

"How long as she owned the place?" 

"About five years. She and Johnny bought the cabins and refinished the lodge after her mom died and she got an inheritance. The cabins are all spread out, but in waking distance from the lodge, so we can either stay here and use the kitchen or go up there and have someone else do all the cooking." 

"I like it. It's quiet." 

"I'm glad. You need a break." 

Jim finished his beer and nodded, "It's a good surprise." He glanced up and smiled. "So, how long were you and this Christy together." 

Blair flushed, cute and embarrassed. "Johnny doesn't know, so don't say anything." 

"I wouldn't do that, even though he'd have to be thick not to see the spark and crackle when you two talk. So, how long?" 

"We don't spark and crackle." Blair stood up and scooted a chair closer to Jim's before he sat down, crossing his legs and sitting back. "We're both married now, so it doesn't matter." 

Jim glanced over at his partner, his sudden dark mood troublesome. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

"Come on, babe. You're talking to a detective. I can see you two have history. It doesn't bother me." 

"I know. It's just some things happened when we were together. It took a lot for us to stay friends afterwards." 

"After what?" 

"After she lost the baby." 

Jim choked back his shock. "Baby?" 

Blair refused to look up and instead focused on his hands clasped together in his lap. "The condom broke and she got pregnant. It was a really bad time, Jim. I was upset at first, but then I got all excited, you know, kind of like, okay, I didn't plan this, but it's going to be cool. A baby. Wow. I wanted it. We even had a crib picked out." 

"What happened?" 

Swallowing hard, staring off into space, Blair saw the past, the pain chilling him as he spoke quietly. "We were at the library. She got sick and started bleeding. I swear, Jim, I don't think I've ever been so afraid. There was so much blood. I thought she was going to die. She almost did. And then later..." 

"Later?" 

"Later she wanted to. She was so sad and I didn't help much. I was grieving, too." 

"I'm sorry." Jim took his hand and squeezed, waiting for the rest, knowing his lover needed to say more. 

"Me, too. We broke up right after that. It took a long time for us to be friends again. Every time she saw me, she thought of the baby. After she met Johnny, things got better though." 

"How come you never told me this before?" 

"I don't like to think about it." 

"And now?" 

"And now, we're here and you asked." Blair met his eyes, the blue misted over with emotion. "There's nothing in my life you can't know, Jim, nothing." 

"I know that." Leaning over, Jim kissed Blair briefly and stood up. He put a hand on the porch post and sighed. "Do you think I'm selfish for not wanting to help Carolyn?" 

"I think you're scared, and you should be." 

"Why? It's a simple thing." Jim turned, leaning back on the post, his arms crossed. "It's just sperm. I've got plenty of that." 

Blair chuckled and tilted his head as he grinned widely. "Oh, yeah, you're full of the stuff, no doubt, man." More serious, Blair's eyes narrowed. "But it's more than that and you know it. I'd be upset if I thought you could go into something like this without worrying about the problems, not just for the baby but for me and you, too." 

"And there would be problems, Blair. I can't see how there couldn't be. Carolyn lives in San Francisco. We live here. I couldn't donate and not be involved in the child's life. I just couldn't. My dad taught me that." 

"How involved would you want to be?" 

"As much as I could be. I'd do the right thing financially, but I'd want shared custody. I'd want to have a say in how the child's raised. Fuck, Blair, I'd want to be a father, a real father, not some guy who sends a Christmas or birthday card every year." 

"You know Carolyn probably won't agree to all that." 

"I know, but if she wants me to father a child, that's the way it has to be." 

"And do you really want to be a father?" 

Jim hesitated and turned around, his back to Blair. "I'm not sure. It's one thing to fuck up with Carolyn, it's another to screw up my kid." 

Blair stood up and moved closer, his arms wrapping Jim's waist from behind. His head rested on his shoulder, his words puffing air against Jim's skin. "You wouldn't screw up your kid." 

"You don't know that." 

"Yes, I do. You're not your father." 

Relaxing slightly, Jim shook his head and closed his eyes. "What should I do?" 

"Well, first we're going to fuck ourselves stupid and then when we get home, you're going to call Carolyn and talk about this." 

"I can't do this over the phone." 

"Then you'll fly out next weekend. You'll tell her your conditions. If she agrees, fine. If not, you'll tell her to find someone else." 

"Wrong." 

"Wrong?" 

"Well, you got the fuck ourselves stupid part right." Blair laughed and squeezed his gut fondly. "But you're coming with me next weekend. If this thing happens, I want you there every step of the way. If Carolyn doesn't get that, she doesn't need to bother with me." 

"She's not going to like that." 

"Too fucking bad." Jim shifted and faced his partner, lifting his chin, meeting his eyes. "I can't even consider something like this unless I know for sure where you stand." 

Brushing his lips lovingly against Jim's, Blair whispered, "With you, Jim. Always." 

* * *

Tuesday morning, Jim hummed the Ellison version of "Light My Fire" as he walked into the bullpen. Taggart turned with a smile. "Someone sounds happy." 

"Someone is." 

"I take it this means you enjoyed your time off." 

"You'll be head of Major Crime in no time with detective skills like that." 

Joel motioned toward Simon's office. "After a few days like yesterday, I'd say Simon would hand it over without a fight." 

Good mood tempered, Jim frowned. "Why? What happened yesterday?" 

"I'm surprised he didn't call you since it was your case." 

"We got home late last night. What case?" 

"Grawmeyer tried to hang himself in his cell. It's been all over the news. Simon got shit big time." 

Jim sagged down in his chair, stunned, running back over the time with Grawmeyer. "He didn't seem the type." 

"Well, apparently, that's the big deal. He's got a history. His lawyer is raking everyone, and I mean everyone, over the coals." 

"If he knew, he should've said something." 

"Yeah, I know. The thing is, apparently Grawmeyer was being hassled and got roughed up by one of the other prisoners. He kind of snapped. They've got him over at County for evaluation." 

"Which makes the case harder to prosecute." 

"The way things are going, he might never go to trial. You might want to get the details from Simon, but I'd walk carefully. He's been a real bear since this thing went down." 

"Thanks, Joel." 

As soon as Taggart went back to his desk, Jim got up and knocked on his captain's door. "Come in." 

"Captain." 

Simon sat back, his face haggard and drawn. "You look like you had a good time." 

"We did. Thanks. Now, tell me what's going on with Grawmeyer. I heard he tried to kill himself." 

"Want some coffee?" Jim nodded and waited while Simon filled a mug and reheated his own. He drank while Simon filled him in. "It's a mess, Jim. 

"Sounds like it." 

"The guy's in restraints. There's no way they're going to take his case to trial anytime soon." 

"Is the DA thinking about reducing the charges?" 

"Probably. He wants to mitigate the possibility that Gleason's going to sue the city." 

"For what? It's not the city's fault his client tried to hang himself." 

Simon paused and took a deep breath, rubbing his temple. "Grawmeyer got raped while in custody." 

"Shit." 

"To make it worse, it wasn't reported. Nobody in charge knew, or said they didn't, until Grawmeyer left a note, ripped up his sheets, and strung himself up on his bars." 

"Where the fuck were the guards?" 

"Well, that's the question." 

"Fuck, Simon, there's no excuse for this kind of shit." 

"I know." Simon sighed and shook his head. "Anyway, Grawmeyer managed to do some serious brain damage. He'll be lucky to feed himself if he ever gets out of restraints. It's a legal nightmare." 

"It's a nightmare, period." 

"Yeah, it is." 

Both men remained quiet for several long moments before Jim finally spoke. "What do you need me to do?" 

"There's nothing to do. You've filed the case. Now it's up to the lawyers and courts to take care of the rest. I just wanted you to know what happened so you wouldn't think the guy was getting away with anything." 

"What about you? Are you okay? No offense, sir, but you look like shit." 

"I feel like it. I didn't like Grawmeyer, but it bothers me that something like this could happen." 

"It can happen on the streets. It's not a huge surprise that if you lock up all the assholes in the same place, that it's going to happen there, too." 

"I know, but we're supposed to be in charge. I don't care what a man's done. He shouldn't have to worry about shit like this while he's under our protection." 

"You're right, but it's not your fault." 

"No, but it's somebody's." 

"But where do you start the blame, Simon? With Grawmeyer's father or with the son? With the system? With the asshole who raped him or the guards who didn't care enough to protect him? It's a long list." 

Sitting back, Simon nodded. "I know." The older man put down his mug and studied Jim for a few seconds. "I'm tired of thinking of Grawmeyer. Tell me where Sandburg took you." 

Jim smiled and relaxed. "It was a little place up near the North Woods. An old friend of his owns a lodge and some cabins. We hiked and fished. We had a great time." 

"Hiked and fished, huh?" 

Flushing, Jim grinned and crossed his arms as he met the amused expression. "Among other things, yeah." 

Simon lifted his mug in a toast. "Thank God for other things." 

"Oh, yeah." 

And Jim knew nobody did other things better than Sandburg. 

* * *

"You look good, Jim." 

"Thanks, Steven. You, too." Jim fingered the silverware by his plate and glanced around the restaurant. "Nice place." 

"Yeah. It's a good investment." 

"You own it?" 

"Only half of it." 

Jim chuckled and shook his head. "I should've figured that when you suggested it." 

"Nothing wrong with supporting your own. Don't worry about it though. This one's on me." 

Jim picked up his scotch like a toast. "Thanks." 

"You're welcome. Now, do you want to tell me what's going on? I haven't heard from you in a couple of months." 

"You've been out of town." 

"True. Still, you don't usually call for no reason." 

"The phone works both ways." 

"Yeah, it does. Sorry." Steven drank some wine and waited. After another few moments, he sat back. "I talked to dad last week." 

"Yeah?" 

"He asked if I'd seen you." 

"And?" 

"And I told him that you seemed to be doing okay." 

Jim sighed and finished his second drink, motioning to the waiter for another. "Nice of him to wonder." 

"You could call him, you know." 

"He could call me." 

"Jesus, Jim, you're a stubborn son of a bitch." 

"I think it's genetic." 

Steven snorted in amusement. "Yeah, probably." Jim's drink arrived and the waiter left before he spoke again. "How's Blair?" 

"Fine." 

"He's good for you." 

"I know." 

"We should all get together sometime. I'd like to get to know him better. He seems like a very nice man." 

"He is, and yeah, he'd like that. He's always on me to keep in touch more." 

"He's right. We both should. Has he said anything about Dad?" 

"He thinks I have issues." 

"Smart guy." 

Frowning, Jim sat back and finished his third stiff drink, the buzz of the alcohol easing his tension only a little. "Don't you get pissed, Steven? Don't you ever want to just punch his face in for the shit he pulled when we were growing up?" 

"Yeah, sometimes, but he's our dad. He fucked up, more with you than with me, but at least he was there. That's more than we can say for our mom. Talk about issues. I hate that she left us." 

"I know. Me, too." Jim paused and waited as the waiter delivered the food, lasagna for himself and spaghetti for Steven. 

Not eating, Steven leaned in, his voice hoarse. "I used to pretend she came and took us away." 

Jim met his brother's sad gaze. "I used to wish she'd come back to Dad and that we'd be a family again." 

"I don't remember us ever being a family, Jim, not the way other people had families. If I'd been older, maybe I'd remember Mom better, but I don't. All I remember is that she was gone and how he pitted us against one another. I know you tried to protect me. It took me a long time to realize just how much that cost you." He paused, swallowing hard. "It took me a long time to get over being hurt and pissed when you left, too. I thought you hated me." 

"I never hated you, Steven. You know why I had to go." 

"I know what you told me and I understand that now. Still, I was alone for so long. It was tough. Thank god for Sally or I'd really be a head case." 

"I'm sorry." 

"I know." Steven picked up a fork and motioned for Jim to do the same. "We should eat. It's not as good cold." 

Nodding, Jim tasted the spicy pasta, the rich oregano teasing his tongue. "Very good." 

"Yeah, it is." After a few minutes of quiet eating, Steven wiped his mouth and sat back. "So, tell me why you really called." 

"You ever thought about having kids?" 

"I'm not married." 

"But have you?" 

Focused on Jim, Steven nodded. "Sure. I went with a woman for awhile and we talked about it." 

"What happened?" 

"It didn't work out, but I figure one day I might take the plunge." 

"And would you have kids?" 

"I don't know. Maybe. Why? Are you and Blair thinking about adopting?" 

"No, I just wondered what you thought about having kids." 

"Riiight." Steven had a few more bites and drank some red wine. "I have to admit, I'd be scared to be a father." 

Jim glanced up, his brother meeting his gaze. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah. I mean, what do we have for models? Our mom left and our dad fucked up. It would be hard. Still, I think I'd like to try it someday. It'd make Sally happy." 

"Yeah, it would." 

"Dad, too, come to that." 

"You think?" 

"Sure. He asked me about it once. He wanted to know if I was ever going to make him a grandfather. I told him not anytime soon, but I wouldn't rule it out." 

Jim ate a few more bites of his meal and then reached for his own wine, the flavors vibrant. "I like this food." 

"You like the booze." 

"True, but the food is good, too. Honest." 

Laughing, Steven poured them both another glass of wine. "I hope you're not driving." 

"Actually, I am." 

"Maybe you better rethink that." 

Jim lifted the glass, the red sparkling against the light. "I'm rethinking a lot of things." 

"Like what?" 

Putting the glass down, Jim rubbed his face with one hand, the spreading numbness surprising. "I want to forgive him." 

"Forgive Dad?" 

"Yeah. I want to, but I don't know if I can." 

"I forgave him a long time ago." 

"It's not the same." 

"Why not?" 

"He knew things about me, things he never said. He made me feel different." 

"You are different." 

Jim looked up, suddenly angry. "But he's my father. It's not supposed to matter." 

Frowning, Steven shook his head in confusion. "What exactly are we really talking about here, Jim? Are you saying Dad knew you were gay and that's why you left?" 

"No. As far as I know, he doesn't know about that yet." 

"He doesn't know about you and Blair?" 

"No. This thing between us goes back further than that, to Bud's murder." 

"I don't understand." 

"Look, the point is, if I forgive him, what happens if he does it again?" 

Steven waited several seconds before he answered. "Jim, I'm not really sure what happened between you and Dad, but I know this. He misses you. Even if he does screw up again, would you be any worse off than you are now? You're already estranged. Isn't it worth the gamble to try to change things before it's too late?" 

Still torn, his gut knotted, Jim studied the earnest features of his brother. "How did you do it? How did you forgive him?" 

"I don't know. I just did." 

"And things are good between you?" 

"They're okay, better than I thought they'd be. He likes when I ask his advice about investing." 

"I'll bet." 

"Anyway, I think you should try to mend fences." 

"How?" 

"Just pick up the phone and ask him to dinner. Or call and just talk. Ease into it. Make him feel like you aren't sorry to hear from him." 

Jim clenched his jaw, his mind racing ahead. "And what about when he finds out about Blair? You know how he feels about gays. He said it often enough when we were growing up." 

Frowning, Steven shrugged. "Well, consider it a test. If he really wants his son back, he'll have to change his ways and take you as a set. If he doesn't, then it's his loss." 

"I don't want Blair to get hurt." 

"I think he can handle it." 

"Yeah, but he shouldn't have to." 

"No, but he will because he loves you." Steven cleared his throat and sipped some more wine. "Sounds to me like you're making excuses, Jim. Call him. Find out what he really thinks instead of just expecting the worst." 

"I'll think about it." 

"Meanwhile, I think I should drive you home. You can pick up your truck tomorrow." 

Befuddled by the suggestion, Jim sat back. "I can drive." 

"Jim, you're over the limit. It's no big deal. Besides, it'll give me an excuse to see your partner." 

Reluctantly, Jim agreed. "Okay, but I want a doggie bag. Sandburg loves this stuff." 

"Sure, Jim. Doggie bag it is." 

* * *

"Whoa, Jim. Steady there, big fella." 

Jim leaned over with a grin and laid a big sloppy kiss on his lover. "Hey, baby. You smell good." 

Flushing, Blair guided Jim to the sofa as Steven closed the door. "Well, someone had a good time." 

Jim's head fell back as he smiled. "Brought you a doggie bag." 

"Thanks." 

Blair turned and watched Jim's brother standing awkwardly with the sack and Jim's jacket folded over his arm. "Hey, Steven. Thanks for bringing the big lug home." 

"No problem." 

"Just put that in the fridge and I'll get us some coffee. I just made a fresh pot." 

Jim protested. "I don't want coffee." 

Blair chuckled and kissed his lover's forehead. "Too bad. It's either coffee or you're taking a cold shower and going to bed." 

"Bossy man. I love you." 

"I know, Jim. Me, too." 

Steven chuckled as he hung up Jim's jacket and then closed the refrigerator door. Blair moved to the kitchen and got down the mugs. "So, does my brother do this often?" 

Blair shook his head. "No. Hardly ever. He was nervous about seeing you." 

Jim sang out drunkenly from the living room. "I can heeeear you." 

"Jesus, how much has he had to drink?" 

"Three double scotches and some wine." 

"Fuck. He never drinks that much. No wonder he's plastered." 

Steven glanced over at his brother with affection. "I'm glad this isn't a regular thing. I'd hate to think he has a problem." 

Jim lifted his head, his eyes unfocused and bleary. "Doubles? Shit." He sat up, his hand to his stomach. "I don't feel so good." 

"Oh, man." Blair hurried to his side. "Are you going to be sick?" 

"I don't think so. I just need to lie down. Room's spinning." 

"Let's get you upstairs." Blair turned to Steven. "I could use a little help here." 

"Sure." 

Working together they got Jim to his feet and up the stairs. Blair unclipped his gun before letting him fall back on the bed. Lifting Jim's feet up, he removed his shoes and socks, but left him dressed otherwise. He put the cover over his partner and shook his head. "Sleep tight. I'll be downstairs if you need me." 

Jim grabbed Blair's wrist. "I'm sorry, Chief. I didn't know they were doubles." 

"It's okay. Now, tell your brother good bye and then get some rest." 

"Bye, Stevie." 

"Bye, Jimmy." 

Blair waited until Jim's breathing evened and then motioned for Steven to follow him quietly downstairs. Pouring them both coffee, Blair handed a mug to his lover's brother and then sat down at the table. Steven settled into the chair across from him. "I shouldn't have let him drink so much." 

"Did he really not know they were doubles?" 

"Well, the first one he ordered was a double. I guess the waiter just assumed the refills would be, too." 

Blair sipped his coffee, worried about Jim's lapse. He hadn't been so drunk since their last big fight over Jim's infatuation with Lila. "I hope you two had a good time otherwise." 

"We talked. We talked about you and my father mostly." 

"I'm glad he called you. He's been having a hard time lately." 

"How come?" 

"A lot of things. I think it bothers him that he's never really reconciled with his dad." 

"I know." 

"I never knew my dad, so I can't really help much." 

"You help by being here, Blair. You're really good for him. He really loves you." 

"I love him, too. That's why I hate to see him hurt so much." Blair paused. "Don't take this the wrong way, but how come your dad doesn't try harder? I mean, Jim's his son. How hard would it be to pick up a phone?" 

"How hard would it be for Jim?" 

"I'm working on him." 

Steven grinned. "Yeah, I heard you keep pushing for us to get together." 

"I want that. I think Jim needs his family." 

"You're part of that family, such as it is, too. I hope you know that." 

"Thanks." More serious, Blair leaned forward. "What about your dad? Jim's never told him about being gay. There must be a reason for that. Jim's known since he was a teenager." 

"It's not easy. I mean, I have to admit I was surprised. Jim was married before so I thought the things that happened when he was younger were just a phase." 

"Personally, I think the marriage was just a phase. Jim never wanted to be gay. He fought it for a long time." 

"And he thought being married would cure him?" 

"He loved Carolyn, but being gay isn't something you stop just because you're with a woman." 

Steven tilted his head, studying Blair. "What about you? Have you always been gay?" 

"I'm bisexual. I dated mostly women before Jim." 

"Really? Call me naive, but I always figured it was pretty much one way or the other." 

"For me it's not the gender, but the person. But I was lucky. My mom has a lot of gay friends. She's always supportive. In fact, the only problem she has with Jim is that he's a cop. She could care less that he's a man as long as I'm happy." 

"You were lucky." Steven sat back, staring down into his coffee. "Our dad used to rant about faggots and queers and how filthy they were. I didn't know for sure about Jim, but looking back on it, I can't imagine how much that must have hurt. I wish I could've helped." 

"You can help now." 

"How? I can't tell him about you and Jim. That's not my place." 

"That's true, but you can talk to him. Try to convince him it's time to make a truce. I'm hoping that if he sees how much I love Jim, he'll accept it." 

"I wish it were that simple." 

"It can be. It depends on how much he wants his son back." 

Steven put the mug down and stood up. "I'll do what I can." He extended a hand and shook in agreement. "I'll call next week. I'd like to take you two out to dinner." 

"Better yet, come by next Wednesday around seven and Jim and I will cook." 

"Jim cooks?" 

"Oh, yeah, and he's got this cute flowered apron, too." 

"This I have to see." 

"You can see it as often as you like. You're welcome in our home anytime." 

"Thank you. I'll see you next Wednesday then." Steven hesitated and turned. "I'll call tomorrow to see if he's all right." 

"He'd like that." 

Nodding, Steven smiled and left. Blair closed the door and walked up the stairs. He gazed down at his sleeping sentinel, the deep, whispery snores a relief. Stripping off, he climbed into bed and wrapped Jim in his arms. A husky voice snuffled and grumbled, "Chief?" 

"Go to sleep, Jim. I'm here." 

Settling down, resting his head on Blair's chest, Jim relaxed, his body warm and safe in Blair's embrace. 

* * *

"Oh, god, where's my gun." 

Blair grinned and put a cup of coffee on the table in front of his lover as Jim held his head. "Hidden safely out of reach. You want some aspirin?" 

"I am so fucked." 

"It's just a hangover, man. You'll live." 

"You're a cruel man in the morning, Chief." 

Laughing, Blair kissed the top of Jim's head and settled into the chair beside him. He put the aspirin bottle on the table along with a big glass of water. "You didn't say that the other day when you were fucking me stupid." 

Jim just groaned in reply as he squinted and grabbed the medicine bottle. Just the rattle sent a shudder through his body. He fumbled with the childproof top and then tossed it down in frustration, his head pounding like a chorus of jackhammers. "Shit. I can't open this." 

"I'll do it." Calmly releasing the top, Blair poured three pills into his palm and handed them over. "Drink all the water. You're dehydrated after all that shit you drank last night." 

Jim followed instructions, nearly gagging on the water before he finished. He put the glass down and then lowered his head to rest on his arms on the table. "God, I feel like shit." 

"You want to talk about it?" 

"Feels like a panther pissed in my mouth and some asshole is still slamming my skull with a fucking mallet." 

Blair's hand rested gently on his shoulder. "I meant do you want to talk about why you got drunk?" 

Jim lifted his head, his bloodshot eyes burning as he met Blair's concerned gaze. "I'm sorry." 

"I know. I just want to know if I should be worried." 

"About what?" 

"About you, about how you've been acting the last few weeks. I know it's been rough, but you know how I hate when you drink like that." 

"I didn't plan it." 

"I know that, but it still scares me." 

Jim frowned and sat up straighter, his gut protesting. "There's no reason to be scared. I'm fine. I didn't mean to drink that much. It won't happen again." 

"I hope not." 

"It's not like I drink that much, Chief, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been that out of it. You don't have to worry." 

Blair avoided his eyes as he spoke softly. "I know, man, but I've seen how this sort of thing can creep in." 

Surprised, Jim studied his lover's sad disposition. "Creep up? What are you talking about?" 

"My mom dated this guy named Clarence. I really liked him, but he was a drinker. I was only eleven so I really didn't understand what the deal was, why he was so unhappy. He'd go weeks without a drink and then he'd come in totally wasted. Naomi tried to help him, but it didn't work. He didn't think he had a problem. Anyway, we ended up leaving. I sometimes wonder what happened to him." 

"I'm sorry, but I don't see the connection. It's not like I do this all the time." 

"Neither did Clarence." Blair looked up, his face more pale than it should be. "I just worry. I know seeing your family's hard, but there are better ways to deal with it." 

"You think I got drunk because I saw Steven?" 

"Didn't you?" 

"No. I got drunk because I'm an idiot." Jim cupped Blair's face and smiled. "Forgive me?" 

Capturing Jim's hand at his face, Blair nodded. "Already done, man." 

Jim kissed him briefly and then sighed. "I need a shower." 

"And some toothpaste." 

"Sorry." 

Blair stood up and walked to the counter. "Go on. Get cleaned up and dressed. We have to leave early." 

"Why?" 

"We have to pick up your truck." 

"Shit. I forgot." 

"I'm just glad Steven drove you home." 

Jim frowned. "Yeah, I know. I don't know what I was thinking." 

"About your dad maybe?" 

"Don't start." 

"I'm not starting. I'm just saying..." 

"Well, don't. I'm not in the mood." 

Blair raised both hands in a backing off motion. "No problem. You want to be surly, go right ahead." He glanced at the clock and grinned. "You've go five minutes and then you'd better ditch that shit and behave." 

"Or what?" 

"I won't tell you where I hid your gun." 

"You shit." Jim stood and moved in behind Blair, his arms around his waist. He nuzzled at his lover's neck and teased. "You think you could hide something from me and I couldn't find it? I could just sniff it out." 

Blair relaxed in his arms as he pushed back against Jim's crotch. "Well, you could do that unless I wrapped it in something to camouflage the scent." 

Jim groaned in pleasure, his cock waking up as Blair's rocked back against him. "You always have to be in control." 

"Look who's talking." 

Sucking along Blair's neck, Jim whispered. "Shower with me." 

"I already showered." 

Jim nibbled Blair's ear, drinking in the soft moans as Blair's flesh warmed to his touches. "Dirty boy, you can never be too clean." 

"Or too well fucked." 

"Or sucked. I'm hungry." 

Blair turned and smiled, his eyes dark with arousal as he patted Jim's face. "Only if you fuck me, too." 

"God, you're so damn greedy." 

Blair's throaty chuckle confirmed the claim as he dragged Jim off to the shower. 

* * *

"Is this supposed to be code?" 

Jim frowned as Simon handed back the file. "What?" 

"I can't read the bottom line." 

"Shit." Jim shook his head as he stared at the incomprehensible string of letters at the end of his report. "I'm sorry, sir. I must have gotten my fingers off the home keys." 

"Or your head just isn't where it needs to be. What's going on? If you don't mind my saying so, you look like shit." 

"Long night." Jim stepped to the door, his head still fuzzy from overindulgence despite his partner's best efforts. "I'll redo this and get it right back to you." 

"Wait up. I'm serious, Jim. You never make mistakes like that. I mean, you might mistype, but you always catch it before it gets to me." 

"I'll be more careful." 

"I know you will. That's not the point. Are you okay?" 

Jim turned back and took a deep breath. "Not really." 

"Want to talk about it?" 

"No." 

"Do you need to talk about it?" 

"Probably. Look, I appreciate the concern, Simon, but I'll be okay. Blair and I are going to San Francisco this weekend to see Carolyn. I think I'll feel better after I've settled some things with that whole situation." 

"You've decided what you want to do?" 

"Blair and I talked, yeah. If she agrees to some terms, then yes, I'll do it. If not, then I won't." 

Simon nodded, but his face remained solemn. "That seems like a good plan." 

"But?" 

"But I just hope you two don't hurt each other again." 

Frustrated, Jim stepped to the window. "The only reason I'm even considering this whole thing is because I still care about her." 

"You still love her?" 

"Not the way I did, but yeah, I guess. I know how much she wanted kids and I feel really shitty about the way I sort of dismissed that, like her needs weren't as important as me wanting to steer clear of that whole land mine." 

"Land mine?" 

"Metaphorically speaking." 

Simon chuckled. "You've been hanging around your partner too long." 

Jim feigned insult. "I resent that. I knew the word long before I ever met Sandburg." 

"Maybe, but you knew enough never to use it in a police station." 

"True." Jim crossed his arms and then sat on the edge of the conference table. "It's not just Carolyn. I saw my brother last night. We talked about a lot of stuff." 

"And it didn't help?" 

"My problem's not with Steven." 

"So you admit there's a problem." 

"Might as well." 

"What are you going to do about it?" 

Jim met worried eyes and shook his head. "I don't know. I figure I'll settle this thing with Carolyn first and then maybe when we get back, I'll call him." 

"And then what?" 

"We talk. Or we don't." 

Simon leaned forward, his face strong and solemn. "This thing with your dad really gets to you." 

"I know it shouldn't. I haven't needed him for close to twenty years, but now all of a sudden, it's an issue." 

"I doubt it's sudden, Jim. It's always been there." 

"Anyway, I'm not looking forward to him finding out about my relationship with Blair." 

"You're going to tell him right away?" 

"Blair's the most important person in my life, Simon. I'm not going to hide him, not from my father or anyone else. You know that. I keep a low profile at work, but if the city ever gives me shit about it, I'm gone." 

"I know, Jim. I understand." Simon hesitated slightly. "What do you think your father will say when he finds out?" 

"I don't even want to think about it." Jim snorted at his own words. "Which is the whole damn problem. I'm still letting my fear of my father's rejection run my life and he's not even in my life. How's that for fucked?" 

"Sounds pretty human to me." 

"I guess so." 

"Don't be so hard on yourself. It'll work out and if it doesn't because your father's an asshole, well, you won't be any worse off." 

"You're right." Jim tilted his head and smiled. "I hear Blair coming up in the elevator. He's talking to Lindsay about putting fresh fruit and bagels on the breakfast cart instead of so many Danish and doughnuts." 

Simon laughed. "Sounds like him." 

Jim lifted the file in his hand, eager to greet his lover. "I'll redo this and get it right back to you." 

"Do that. And tell Sandburg I want to see him when he gets through flirting." 

"He's not flirting. He's just friendly." 

"Jim, he may be your man, but the boy flirts. He can't help himself. Admit it." 

Jim grinned as he watched Blair saunter into the bullpen, smiling and talking with his hands as he continued his chat with Lindsay. "He may flirt, but he's faithful." 

"You don't get jealous?" 

More serious, Jim met his friend's puzzled gaze. "He may talk a good game, but he's mine. I don't ever doubt that." 

"You surprise me." 

"Why?" 

Staring at Blair through his office window, Simon shook his head grudgingly as he confessed. "Because if he were mine, I'd have to lock him up somewhere." 

Jim laughed. "Don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind a time or two." 

"How'd you get past it?" 

"I just trust him." 

"As simple as that?" 

"No, but it was either that or go crazy." 

Simon grinned and waved Jim out of his office. At his desk, Blair looked up, his face fresh and cheerful. "Hey, Jim. What's up?" 

"My spirits. Simon wants to see you." 

"What for?" 

"He didn't say. Now, get up, I have to retype some of this report and then we need to go question a witness to a robbery." 

"Cool." Blair stood as Jim sat before lowering his voice. "So, are you feeling better? Any headache?" 

"I'm fine. Did you get the tickets?" 

Blair nodded. "No problem. I've got this friend who has a friend who runs a travel agency. We got a really good deal on round trip tickets." 

"And we don't have to leave in the middle of the night and return before sundown?" 

"Funny, man. We leave Saturday morning and come back Sunday afternoon. I also booked us into a little place not too far from Carolyn's." 

"A little place?" 

"Yeah, a friend of mine has a brother who runs a private bed and breakfast." 

"What happened to just staying in a hotel?" 

"This is a lot better, Jim. Trust me." 

"All right, but if I end up cranky and miserable, you're the one I'm coming after." 

Blair grinned as he stood straighter. "I love how you do that." 

"Do what?" 

Laughing, Blair headed for Simon's office as he teased over his shoulder. "Always see the bright side." 

"I'm looking at it, Chief." 

Blair wiggled his ass and shut the door, his playfulness a direct hit to Jim's greedy cock. He wiped his face with one hand as he groaned and returned to writing his report. He focused enough on the words that his fingers typed what they needed, but his mind wandered, reviewing all the wonderful ways Blair loved and pleased him. He smiled the whole time. 

* * *

"Wow, Jim, this is great." Blair bounced on the quilt-covered, four poster bed, the polished oak gleaming in the light from the tall windows. He patted the mattress next to him. "Have a seat. Let's take it for a test run." 

Jim shook his head as he dropped the overnight bag on the low chest at the end of the bed. "Not right now." He stepped to the window and looked out over the residential area around him, a park only a few doors away. "This is nice." 

"Yeah. I didn't want to stay in the middle of the city with all the noise and traffic." Blair stood up and walked over, his arms around Jim's waist. "You okay?" 

"Just tired. I hate flying." 

"Yeah, especially when there's a snotty-nosed kid kicking the seat right behind you." 

Jim rubbed his face. "God, what a little brat." 

"Spoiled brat. Not all kids act like that." 

"I know. It just gave me a headache." 

Blair moved to stand behind Jim, his hands on his shoulders, gently massaging. "God, you're tight." 

"I thought you liked tight." 

Kissing his neck, Blair whispered, "Wrong part of the anatomy, babe. Now relax before you wear yourself out." 

Jim allowed the tender touches for a few moments and then pulled away. He sat on the edge of the bed and then sighed. "I hate waiting. We should call and then just go on over to Carolyn's." 

"I think Carolyn wants me and Edie to be somewhere else while you two talk." 

"She can want all she wants. I want you there. I can't do this on my own." 

Blair sat down next to him, taking his hand and rubbing the fingers lightly. "Then I'm there." He kissed Jim's hand. "Just promise to stay cool, okay?" 

"When am I ever not cool?" 

"You know what I mean." 

Unfortunately, he did. "Okay. I'll be good." 

"Oh, I already know that, man." Blair rubbed Jim's thigh, his hand running first down to the knee and then slowly up to his crotch. "You're always very good." 

Stalling Blair's move, Jim shook his head. "Later, Chief. I need a clear head. I can't think with all my blood in my dick." 

Chuckling, Blair reluctantly agreed as he stood up. "I'm going to go check out the facilities. Call Carolyn and see if she'll see us sooner than tonight." 

As Blair shut the door to the bathroom, Jim picked up the receiver and dialed his ex-wife's number. An unfamiliar voice answered. "Hello?" 

"This is Jim. Is Carolyn there?" 

After a short pause, the voice tensed. "She's right here. Hold on." 

Waiting, he heard Carolyn's unusually strained voice. "Jim, hi. Was the flight okay?" 

"It was fine. I wanted to know if we could come over now instead of waiting for dinner. I really want to talk about this." 

She hesitated. "Hold on." Voice muffled, Jim heard Edie in the background, unhappy but relenting. "Sure, Jim. You and Blair come on over. Give us about half an hour first though, okay?" 

"No problem." 

"You've got directions?" 

"Yeah." 

"We'll see you then." 

Jim hung up the phone as Blair opened the door and dried his hands. "Are we set to go?" 

"They want us in half an hour." 

"Uhm, half an hour, uh?" Blair snuggled up to Jim as he teased the buttons on his shirt. "Wonder what we can do until then?" 

"Dreamer." 

"Come on, Jim. A quickie in a romantic hideaway. Sounds good to me." 

"A quickie anywhere sounds good to you." The words came out more harsh than he intended and he snatched Blair's hand back as he pulled away, the hurt etched on his lover's face. "I'm sorry, Blair. I'm just too wound up right now." 

"I know, man, but that's no reason to be a dick." 

"You're right. It's no excuse." Hugging Blair for a moment, the younger man relaxed in his arms, the forgiveness unspoken. He kissed the top of Blair's head. "Let's go for a walk in the park. Then later, after we settle things with Carolyn, I'll give you more than a quickie." 

Nodding, Blair pulled away, his face pensive. "I think we should buy some flowers before we go, too." 

"Flowers?" 

"Yeah. There's a little shop not far from here. We never bought a housewarming present when they moved in together. I think Carolyn needs to know that you're okay with the fact that she's with another woman." 

"And what if I'm not?" 

Blair turned, puzzled. "You're not?" 

Jim frowned and shrugged. "To be honest, I was surprised. I never had a clue about Carolyn that way. We had a lot of problems in our marriage, but sex was never one of them." 

"But aren't you glad that she's found someone who makes her happy?" 

Jim paused and then stared out the window, his back to Blair. "Sure I'm glad. I just don't know this Edie. I hope she's right for Carolyn." 

"You never said." 

Jim turned. "Said what?" 

"That you still loved her." 

"I do, Chief, but not like I love you. But you have to understand. We were married and it was really good for awhile. I thought it was the real thing. You don't just switch off your feelings when someone leaves you." 

"I know you don't, especially someone like you." 

"What's that supposed to mean, someone like me?" 

"It just means you take everything to heart, man. That's why this is so tough for you. You're trying to do the right thing, but it's tearing you up because the idea of being a father scares you shitless." 

"I never said that." 

"You don't have to." 

Jim didn't respond, just met the adamant gaze of his partner. Blair knew him too well, more than he knew himself. After a few moments, Jim's voice returned. "Let's go for that walk and then we'll get some flowers." 

Nodding, Blair added, "And wine." 

"Wine?" 

"Wine's always good." 

"Red or white?" 

"Both. I think we might need it." 

* * *

Carolyn took the presents with a smile as Jim stifled a sneeze. "Thanks. They're lovely." She handed the flowers and wine off to a dark-haired woman before motioning them into the living room. A sofa stretched out in front of a stone fireplace and a pair of sliding glass doors to the back showed off a deck. 

"Nice house." Jim touched the small of Blair's back to guide him to the sofa while Carolyn took the love seat. 

"Thanks. We like it. Edie knew the previous owners and she's in real estate, so we got a great deal." 

Edie returned, her long, silky hair falling forward as she put the bouquet of fresh flowers in a crystal vase on the mantel. Settling next to Carolyn, she remained quiet, her uneasy brown eyes studying both Jim and Blair. After a few moments of awkward silence, Carolyn broke the ice. "Would you two like something to drink?" 

"Not right now. Maybe later." Jim swallowed hard, his body tense as he slipped his arm over the back of the sofa behind Blair's head. "How have you been, Carolyn? You never said if you liked your new job." 

"I love it." She squeezed Edie and smiled. "We've both got pretty flexible hours. That's going to be really great when the baby comes." 

Uncomfortable, Jim shifted. "We need to talk about that." 

"You don't want to do it." The words came out hard and tight. 

"It's not that. We just need to make sure we have an understanding about some things before we even consider it." 

Nodding, Carolyn leaned forward and picked up a paper. "I had my lawyer draw up a contract." 

"A contract?" 

"Yeah. It'll protect both of us." 

Frowning, Jim took the legal document, holding it down so that both he and Blair could read it. After the first few lines, his partner touched his arm in sympathy and Jim shook his head. "You can't be serious." 

"What?" 

"You expect me to give up all parental rights?" 

"Jim, I'm not expecting you to be a father. You don't have to worry about me showing up to ask for money. I just want a child and I think you'd be the best donor. I'll pay for all the inconvenience and testing." 

"Testing?" 

"Yeah, you know. Blood and genetic tests to make sure you're okay and we're compatible." 

Shaking his head, Jim stood up and walked to the fireplace, document in hand. "This isn't what I expected." 

"What did you expect?" 

"I thought you knew me better than this." 

"What are you talking about, Jim?" 

"I can't jerk off and leave it at that. If I'm the father, I want to be a real father." 

Edie groaned. "Fuck. I knew this was a bad idea." 

Carolyn patted her lover's arm, but never took her eyes from Jim. "You never wanted kids. Why would you want one now?" 

"The only reason I even considered this is because I know you always wanted children. Jesus, Carolyn, if I am going to father a child, I expect to be responsible. I'm not just a load in a cup." Anger building, Jim clenched his jaw, the words boiling up. "Or is that what I always was to you, just a donor, someone you thought could give you what you fucking wanted?" 

"It wasn't like that." 

"Wasn't it?" 

"No, Jim, it wasn't." 

Tossing the contract on the table, Jim shook his head. "I can't fucking believe you expected me to accept this." 

"Jim, calm down, man." 

"Stay out of this, Sandburg." 

Blair stood up, his face flushed. "Fine. I'll be out in the car." 

Startled, Jim's anger staggered. "No, wait, Chief. I'm sorry. Sit back down. I'm just a little thrown here." 

"Then promise to calm down." 

Raising both hands in defeat, Jim took a deep breath. "I'm calm." 

Blair sat down, his voice still tense. He pushed back his hair and then turned his attention to Jim's ex-wife as he leaned forward. "I'm sorry, Carolyn, but we're both just a little shocked by this. You know Jim better than anyone except me. Did you really think he'd just donate and not get involved?" 

"I hoped." 

"Come on. He's Jim. You had to have known how he'd react." 

"I'm right here in the room, you two." 

"We know that, Jim, but be patient. I'm trying to figure this out without getting bent all out of shape." 

Puzzled by his lover's strained tone, he studied the body language that screamed of the barely contained anger. Shit. "Chief, maybe we should just go." 

"I don't think so. Not yet. Come on, Carolyn, let us in on the joke." 

"It's not a joke, Mr. Sandburg." 

Blair sat back, his head shaking in frustration. "Mr. Sandburg, huh? You never did get over the fact that Jim's with me." 

Carolyn flushed and sat straighter. "This has nothing to do with that." 

"It's got everything to do with that. You knew exactly how Jim would react to this. You know his history with his dad. There's no way you couldn't have known. So, why pull this bullshit? You've got your own life now. There's no reason to drag Jim into it unless you've decided that by doing this, you'll always have a claim, always have a link. Is that what this is about? You want to be a part of his life no matter who it hurts?" 

Edie jumped in. "That's not fair." 

Carolyn pulled her lover back. "It's okay, Edie. He doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about." 

Jim stood quietly, light going wild around him, words vibrating and stretched. Holding his head, he let Blair lead him to the sofa, his stomach ready to pitch. "Jim, man, it's okay. Just relax. Take a deep breath and dial down." 

"What's wrong with him?" 

"Shut the fuck up and be quiet for a minute. He's upset." 

The sharp intake of disgruntled breathing spiked his ears and Jim's head fell back. He squeezed his eyes shut as Blair's hands rubbed his temples, his voice a husky whisper guiding him back. Slowly, the whirling light settled and sounds no longer stretched through his bones. He captured Blair's hand, his throat too tight and dry. "Blair?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Let's go." 

"Sure, man. The sooner the better." 

"Jim, please. What about the baby?" 

As he stood, the world more steady with the help of Blair's arms, Jim shook his head. "I'm sorry, Carolyn. It's too much to ask. Find someone else." 

Sad eyes met his. "I'm sorry, too. I never meant to hurt you." 

"But you did. Again." 

Edie stood behind Carolyn, her eyes narrowed. "Let them go, baby. We'll be fine without his help." 

"I know, but..." 

"No buts. He's not worth all this grief." She cupped Carolyn's jaw and kissed her gently. Defiant and angry, Edie turned to Jim. "I think you should go." 

"Take care of her." 

"You don't have to worry. I will." 

Drained, Jim walked out, Blair's hand at his back, the door closing behind them both. Walking to the rental car, Jim stopped and reached for the keys. He handed them to his partner. "You drive." 

"Sure." Blair directed him towards the passenger's side and then got in behind the wheel. After buckling up, he put the key in the ignition but didn't start the engine. "God, what a bitch. I'm so sorry, Jim." 

"Don't be. I should've expected this." 

"Why?" 

"Because I know her. I just forgot how she can be sometimes." 

Nodding, Blair kept his voice neutral despite his obvious anger. "What now?" 

"I'm hungry." 

"Hungry? Jim, you're never hungry when you're upset." 

Turning in the seat, Jim smiled and cupped Blair's face, stroking the whiskered skin lovingly. "Believe it or not, after the initial shock, I'm really not all that upset." 

"You're not?" 

"No. In fact, I'm kind of relieved. What about you? How do you feel?" 

Blair shook his head and smiled, kissing Jim's palm. "I feel bad that you got hurt, but I'm fine with the result. I don't think either of us is really ready to take on raising a kid." 

Jim paused and studied his lover's face. "But someday maybe we will be. What then?" 

"Then we'll figure it out." Pulling away, Blair started the engine. "Okay, what's for dinner? Seafood or something else?" 

Hooking the back of Blair's neck, Jim drew him closer, kissing his soft lips. "Appetizer first and then room service." 

Blair groaned in approval and drove as carefully as he could with Jim's head in his lap. 

* * *

Jim lay quietly, Blair's soft breathing a comforting rhythm in the night. One hand behind his head, he studied the ceiling, the simple cream color pitted with tan. He thought back over the evening, the disaster with Carolyn, the incredible lovemaking with Blair. It reflected his life, one failure and one success. He could live with that. 

Shifting on his side, he slid his hand along Blair's nude hip, stroking it lovingly, the warm skin soothing his palm. He smiled as his lover turned to face him, his sleepy eyes staring up. "Jim?" 

"Yeah?" 

"You okay?" 

"I'm fine. Didn't mean to wake you." 

Snuggling in close, Blair snuffled against his chest. "I'm not awake. You must be dreaming." 

"Must be." Jim chuckled as he kissed the top of Blair's curls. Sniffing, Jim floated on the rich aroma, the heady musk from his sex, the salt of his sweat, the unique almond scent of Blair hair. A hand drifted south as Blair fondled his cock, running his fingers along the edge, bringing it to life. "God, Chief, I'm going to do more than dreaming if you keep that up." 

Lifting his head, Blair grinned, his blue eyes dark with arousal. "Midnight snack, man." 

"It's after three." 

"All the more reason." Blair pushed him onto his back and then crawled up and over, straddling Jim's hips, his own erection awake for the night. The younger man palmed his chest, fanning out his hands as he leaned in and kissed him. Slowly, he ravaged his mouth before heading south, his tongue easing its way to each nipple, licks and nips sparking Jim's spine. 

Jim groaned and Blair mapped his chest, his belly, the soft kisses winding pressure all over. Carefully, Blair shifted positions, spreading Jim's legs and then kneeling between them. He leaned over and mouthed his balls as he fisted Jim's cock. Head thrown back, Jim writhed, his hands wrestling the sheets, his eyes squeezed shut. Legs lifted and rested on Blair's shoulders as the younger man centered his attention on Jim's cock and ass. Grabbing the KY from earlier, he slicked up the hole and then fingered it, Jim's muscles clenching. Setting up a rhythm, he then licked Jim's cock, one long lap until he captured the crown. He matched his sucking to his fingering, each thrust like magic fire up Jim's middle. 

Breathing in frantic pants, Jim whimpered as his balls tightened, his cock hard and swollen, nearly there. "Jesus, fuck me." 

Blair stopped sucking, the cold air on Jim's cock dousing the near release, but just barely. His lover moved into position, Jim's legs now wrapped around his middle. Blair's cock pushed into his ass, his partner rocking slowly until he impaled him completely. Kissing him first, Blair whispered, "I love you, Jim. Are you ready?" 

"I love you, too, but I need you to fuck me before I lose it." 

Chuckling, Blair kissed his nose and then licked the side of his jaw. "Can't have that." He pulled out almost all the way and then pounded in once more, over and over, hard, just the way Jim needed. 

Behind closed lids, bright light crackled, a roar growing louder, his brain melting as his body powered up. Every ram from Blair's cock threw him closer to the edge, cut through years of hurt, centered his world with Blair. Each slam fried his nerves, made his skull wheeze and sizzle. Thighs sweated and shuddered, his coming flashing bites of pleasure all through his spine, his heart swamped with desire. Beyond control, he shook as his lover continued the last few thrusts to bring on his own release. 

A fuzzy chest fell against his own, the heat serious, the delicious ache all along his ass and balls. Blair withdrew and got off the bed, returning quickly with a warm cloth to clean his messiest parts. Later, after washing up in the bathroom, his lover stretched out and settled into the waiting spot beside him, tucked in close. Embraced there, Jim took a long time to speak. Finally, air filled his lungs and his tongue managed to wrestle a few words. "Jesus, Chief." 

Blair thumbed his lower lip lovingly and smiled. "You're welcome." 

Eyes stinging, Jim nuzzled his face into Blair's neck, his voice choked. "I never thought it could be like this." 

Blair cupped his face and kissed his cheek. "Me, neither. I love you, man, more than I ever thought I could." 

"I couldn't stand it if you left." 

Blair hugged him tighter. "Never going to happen. Now, go to sleep. You're tired." 

Closing his eyes, Jim relaxed into the embrace, his body sated and happy. His mind wanted to wander over to Carolyn's place, but he shut it down. He focused on Blair instead, on his body and soul, his desire to be the one person in Jim's strange life who made it worth all the pain of living. 

* * *

Jim paced in front of the window, his mind racing, the tension rising. 

"Jim, would you settle down, please? You're driving me crazy." 

"It shouldn't be this fucking hard." 

"What?" 

"Deciding what to do about my father." 

Blair took off his glasses and turned in the chair away from his computer. "What do you want to do?" 

"Forget about it." 

"Let's try this again. What do you want to do?" 

Jim stopped and sighed before wiping his face with one hand in frustration. "I need to go see him." He sagged into the chair and shook his head. "I never thought of myself as a coward, but I swear to god, the idea of dealing with him scares me to death." 

Blair moved to the coffee table and sat on the edge, leaning in as he spoke quietly. "You're not a coward, man." 

"Feels like it." 

"We've all got things we don't want to mess with. Your relationship with your dad is a tough one. I can't imagine what it must have been like growing up in that house with your abilities." 

"That's the thing. After Buzz died, I shut down. I pushed everything deep inside of me so my dad would love me." Jim avoided Blair's eyes, his throat tight around the words. "No matter what I did, it was never good enough. All I wanted was for him to be proud of me and he never was." 

"You don't know that. Jim, I know you don't want to hear this, but you don't really know what your dad felt. He was as closed down as you were. You pushed down your sentinel abilities and he didn't show you his feelings." 

"You don't understand what it was like." 

"You're right. I'll never understand why a father has to treat his kids like your dad did, making them compete for any ounce of affection. I just don't get that, especially when you didn't have a mom. It's so alien from my own experience. All I know is how it affected you. It made you feel worthless, isolated, and alienated. It's a wonder you got out of there able to function at all. You did the right thing by leaving when you did, just like you'll do the right thing now by trying to settle this distance between you. You're grown now. You need to resolve this, not just for your dad, but for yourself." 

Blair reached out and took Jim's hand as he moved to sit on the armrest. Jim swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "Sometimes I think you were lucky for not having a father." 

"Maybe, maybe not. I know I was lucky for having Naomi. No matter what I did, I always knew she loved me. She was never shy about telling me or giving me a hug." 

"She's pretty special." 

"Yeah, she is." 

"So are you." Jim accepted the brief kiss and then stood up. He headed toward the door. "I don't know when I'll be back." 

"I'll go with you." 

"No." 

"I can stay in the truck." 

"I appreciate that, Chief, but no. I need to do this alone." 

Reluctantly, Blair nodded. He stood up and walked over to Jim, cupping the back of his head before he kissed him good bye. "Good luck then." 

"Thanks." 

Walking out to the truck, Jim tensed with anticipation, a script in his head playing over and over. He just hoped his dad knew the right lines to make it come out all right. 

* * *

Hands stuffed deep in his pockets, Jim waited, the steps approaching from the other side growing nearer. The door swung open, his father's face shocked. "Jimmy? What's wrong? What are you doing here?" 

"May I come in?" 

"Of course. Come in." His father stepped back, allowing him space to pass by. "Let's go into the living room." 

Following his father, he remained quiet, noting the starkness of the familiar surroundings, a coldness that reminded him of his own loft before Blair. He didn't sit, but stood in front of the fireplace, anxious as he prepared to speak. 

"Would you like something to drink?" 

"No, thanks." 

Nodding, his father sat down, his hands shaking. "Is there something wrong, Jimmy?" 

"You could say that." 

"Another murder?" 

"No, us. I need to know what's wrong with us." 

Uneasy, William shifted and shook his head, the words painful to hear. "I just don't know what to say here. You seem to hate me so much." 

"I don't hate you, Pop. No matter what happened, I never hated you." 

"Then what did you feel?" 

"Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Pick one." 

"Jesus. I never wanted that." 

Jim clenched his jaw, his shoulders tight as he turned to face his father. "You've said that before, but it doesn't help. I don't understand why you did what you did. You made me think I was a freak, like there was something wrong with me. I changed who I was for you. I pushed my abilities so far down that it made me shut off an important part of myself for a long time." 

"I know, Jimmy, I know, and I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to be hurt." William held out his hands, palms up as he pleaded his position. "You have to understand. I had no idea what to do. I just knew if people found out, you'd be in danger. They might take you away. I couldn't risk that. It was just safer to pretend that that part of you didn't exist." 

"Okay, I get that, but why couldn't you just tell me what you were doing? Why did you make me feel so bad about it, like you hated me for being different?" 

"I should have. Fuck, Jimmy, I should've done a lot of things. I just didn't know any better." He paused and sat back, his face pale and haggard. "You never knew your grandfather." 

Startled at the change of subject, Jim shook his head. "No. You said he died when we were kids." 

"I lied. I just didn't want him in my life. When I married your mother, he warned me about it being a mistake, one of many. I could never please him. I promised myself I'd do things differently with my own children. But I fucked up. I was just like him." 

"Is he dead now?" 

"Yeah, several years ago." 

"Did you ever reconcile?" 

His father looked up, his eyes misty. "No, and I regret that. I regret that he never had a chance to know his grandsons. Maybe things would've been different." 

Still tense, Jim sighed, fingering the wood along the mantle. "I'm sorry about your dad." 

"And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you like you needed me to be, son. I've had a long time to think about it now that I've retired. I wish I'd done things differently, but you have to believe that I did the best I could at the time." 

"I'd like to." 

"Is that why you're here tonight?" 

"In a way. I know we haven't been close, but when I saw you again during the strangler case, it made me think that maybe you'd changed, that you weren't the absolute prick I thought you were." 

Stunned, William sat back. "You thought I was a prick?" 

"Yeah, Pop, I did. Think about it. Everything revolved around competition, like Stevie and I didn't have your love unless we beat out the other." 

"I wanted you to be tough." 

"I know that, but it didn't work. It fucked up my thinking, like everyone needed me to earn their love. To say I've had a hard time with relationships would be putting it mildly." 

"I'm sorry, son, I really am." 

Jim soaked up the power of his father's words. "I hope you mean that." 

"I do." William sat forward. "I want to get past this, Jimmy. I want us to be friends before it's too late. Can we do that?" 

"I'd like to, but a lot depends on you." 

"I'm willing to try harder." 

"Are you?" Jim steeled himself, his gut tight as he forged ahead. "What would you say if I told you I'm living with a man?" 

"A man?" 

"Yes, a man. He's my partner, Blair Sandburg, and I love him. You met him when you were hurt during the strangler case." 

William sat back, his eyes shut as remembered. He whispered, "The pretty boy with the long hair and earrings." 

"He's not a boy. He's my partner in every sense of the word." Jim waited while his father sat for a few more moments, his weary face solemn. "Well?" 

"Well, what, Jimmy? You're gay. I was hoping you'd grow out of it, but I guess you didn't." 

"What?" 

William sighed as he met Jim's puzzled gaze. "I suspected when you were so close with that Wilkinson boy, Tommy. I just thought you'd get over it when you grew up like I did." 

Stunned by the words, Jim sagged down in the chair near the sofa. "Like you did?" 

"Jimmy, a lot of boys go through that stage. We get crushes on our best friends, but then we figure out that we're supposed to be with women. It's just the way it is." 

"No, dad, that's not the way it is. Are you saying you're gay, too?" 

Flustered, William shook his head vehemently. "No, I'm not gay. I've never acted on it, not since I married your mother." 

"Mom left when I was a kid. What about since then?" 

"I've had my share of flings, but only with women." 

"But you've never found anyone to love?" 

Sad blue eyes met his. "No." He paused, his voice strained. "So, this Blair is someone you love romantically?" 

"He's my whole world." 

"And people at your job know about this, about you being gay?" 

"Some do, some don't. I try not to make it an issue. I don't march in parades, but I don't take any shit, either." 

William shook his head as he sat back. "The world has changed, Jimmy." 

"Yeah, it has." 

"Are you happy?" 

"With Blair? Yeah, I am, more than I ever thought I could be." 

Smiling for the first time, William sighed. "I'm glad. I'd like to meet him." 

"Seriously?" 

"Seriously. Would that be a problem?" 

"Not at all. Steven's coming for dinner on Wednesday. You could come over then." 

"I'd like that. Now, tell me about this man you love." 

For the first time in years, Jim did what his father told him, the stories of his life with Blair creating magic between them. 

* * *

"Jesus, Jim, I'm so fucking fucked here." 

Jim hid his amusement as Blair tossed the ruined sauce into the sink. "Calm down, Chief. It's no big deal. We'll make some more or go out." 

"No big deal? Man, your father's coming for the first time and I fuck up the sauce." 

Stepping closer, Jim wrapped his arms around his lover's waist. "He's going to love you." 

"He's going to hate me. I've corrupted his son." 

"You saved his son." 

Relaxing into Jim's embrace, Blair shuddered. "I'm really, really nervous here, Jim. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm glad you and your dad are getting back together, but I'm just scared." 

"Scared?" 

"Yeah. What if he really does hate me?" 

Jim turned Blair around to face him, the stress straining his features. "He won't hate you." 

"What if he does?" 

"Then we're back to square one. He's out of my life." 

"I don't want that." Blair palmed his chest and sighed. "Maybe I should leave and just let the three of you have some time alone." 

"No way. You're in my life. Steven accepts that and my dad will, too. You don't have to put on a show. Just be yourself and it'll be fine." 

Resting his head on Jim's chest, Blair spoke in a hush. "I'm sorry for being such a head case." 

"You're not the head case here, babe." Jim stroked his cheek and lifted his face before he kissed him, the coffee flavor spilling across his tongue. Pulling back, Jim worked to contain his arousal. "Look, they'll be here in an hour. Why don't you clean up the mess and fix the salad while I start a new batch?" 

"Do we have enough stuff to do that?" 

"Should have." 

Nodding, more calm, Blair set about the clean up while Jim pulled out the ingredients. Quickly, they worked side by side to create an Italian dinner from scratch. The sauce bubbled while Jim heated water for pasta and preheated the oven for bread. Blair cleared the table and put out the good linen with candles for a centerpiece. He checked the chilled wine and strawberry sorbet before he sagged against the counter. "This could work." 

Jim chuckled. "Go sit down and relax. It's almost finished." 

"If I sit down, I might never get up." 

Tilting his head, Jim glanced at the door. "They're here." With Blair standing by the sofa, Jim opened the door. "Hey, Steven, Dad, come in." 

"We're a little early. Hope you don't mind. I picked up Dad and I wasn't sure how long it would take to get over here." 

"It's fine." Jim directed them inside and stopped next to Blair. "Dad, this is Blair Sandburg, my partner." 

Blair extended a hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Ellison." 

William hesitated only a second before shaking Blair's hand. "Call me William." 

"Yes, sir." 

After shaking, William scanned the loft. "Nice place, Jimmy. You own this?" 

"I own the mortgage. I'm a cop, remember?" 

William frowned and nodded. "I remember. I still have nightmares about that crazy asshole who attacked me during your case." 

Patting him on the back, Jim guided his father to the sofa. "That's over. Have a seat. I've got some red wine or there's coffee." 

"Wine's fine unless you've got decaf. My doctor told me I had to cut back on caffeine." 

Blair chipped in. "We can make decaf, William. Or there are some herbal teas you might like." 

"How about the wine for now and decaf for later?" 

Steven added, "I'll have wine, too." 

"Done." 

As Blair got up to serve the drinks, Jim rubbed his hands together. "Supper should be ready soon. Hope you're hungry." 

Steven sat back and laughed as Blair handed him a glass. "I know I am." 

Suspicious, Jim questioned his brother. "What's so funny?" 

"Blair warned me about the flowered apron, but I didn't believe him." 

Fingering the edges of the apron, Jim shrugged. "It was on sale." 

William lifted his glass in a toast. "I say if it gets you in the mood to cook, son, here, here." 

"Thanks, Dad." 

"Sally won't let me near the kitchen. Says I'm a menace." He sipped his wine and sat back, relaxing. "Wonderful woman, Sally. I can't believe she's stayed with me all these years, especially after you boys left." 

Steven leaned forward and put his wine on the coffee table. "I have to admit, I can't imagine you living without Sally." 

"Me, neither." He cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Right after your mother left, I asked her to stay to help with you boys. I was little distraught at the time and she promised me then that she'd never leave me as long as I wanted her. She's kept that promise." 

"Thank god for Sally." Jim spoke quietly as he stirred the sauce, his voice soft and earnest as he remembered the woman who protected him so much as a boy. Glancing up, he flushed as he noted all the questioning eyes aimed in his direction. "Sally's a good woman, that's all." 

"That she is, son." 

Slightly embarrassed by his sentimental lapse, Jim wiped his hands on the a hand towel and motioned to the table. "It's time to eat. Blair, get the salads out and I'll put the bread in." 

"Sure, man." 

As the men gathered around the table, Blair frowned as William took Jim's regular chair. Jim didn't say anything, just happy to have his family together. Settling into the chair next to Blair and across from Steven, Jim reached for the fresh ranch dressing. As he did, his father stopped him. "Aren't you forgetting something, Jimmy?" 

"What's that?" 

"We need a blessing." 

"Blessing?" Jim shook his head. "We never said blessings." 

William reached for his son's hand and then they all joined hands in a circle. "I know that, Jimmy, but I feel like saying one now, if that's okay." 

Glancing first at his father and then at Blair, he shrugged. "I don't mind." 

Bowing his head, William closed his eyes, his voice rich, but quiet. The others did the same, but Jim kept his head up, watching his father as he prayed. "Dear Lord, please bless this family. May we stay together in love and understanding. We ask this in your name. Amen." 

Jim blinked several times as Blair lifted his head and squeezed his hand. He swallowed hard before he spoke, his reality jolted. "Why did it take so long for us to figure this out?" 

"I don't know, son, but it's time to move on, to get past all that." 

"We wasted so much time." 

"I know, Jimmy. Let's not waste anymore." 

Nodding, his whole body lighter somehow, Jim agreed. He handed the salad to Blair and noted his flushed skin and misted eyes. Grinning, he leaned over and kissed his temple before taking a bite of salad. 

Surprised, Blair looked first at Jim and then William. "What was that for?" 

"Good measure." Glancing all around, contented and pleased, Jim smiled. "So, who wants pasta with their salad?" 

* * *

Jim stood on the balcony, his elbows resting on the rail as a cool breeze teased his skin. Blair moved in beside him, his hand resting lightly on his forearm. "You okay?" 

"Better than okay. I feel like a huge weight's been lifted." 

"I'm glad. You got really quiet there for awhile." 

Meeting concerned eyes, Jim caressed his cheek. "I was just thinking." 

"About?" 

"About how good it is to have family." He kissed Blair and then slipped his tongue along his bottom lip, tasting the lingering strawberry sweetness of dessert. Blair returned the kiss briefly and pulled away, his voice a whisper. "It's late. Let's go to bed." 

Nodding, Jim took one last look at the night sky and headed inside behind Blair. Balcony windows closed, he checked the perimeter and locks and then headed upstairs. Blair sat on the edge of the bed taking off his shoes, his hair falling forward. He brushed it back out of his face only to have it fall forward again, the soft curls always in rebellion. Blair unbuttoned his shirt and handed it to Jim to fold as he continued undressing. "I think your dad liked me." 

"I think you're right." 

"I mean, he didn't act like he hated the sight of me or anything." 

"He likes you, Chief. Where's all this insecurity coming from all of a sudden?" 

"I don't know. I've never had a father-in-law before." 

Unzipping and stepping out of his pants, Jim neatly put them on the side chair. He slipped off his boxers before he sat down on the bed next to a nude Blair. "If my dad didn't like you, you'd know it." 

"How?" 

"He wouldn't have bothered to have you call him William for a start. For another, he wouldn't have complimented the decorating. Believe me, he knows the style isn't mine. Plus, he wouldn't have asked about your work. I'm telling you, babe, you were a hit." Jim pushed back the wayward curls and kissed him, drawing the younger man into his arms. Relaxing into the embrace, Blair's tongue wrestled with his own before he pulled back. "I'm really happy for you, Jim. I know this whole thing with your dad means a lot." 

"Yeah, it does." 

"And you're not too disappointed because of the deal with Carolyn?" 

"No, not really." Jim cupped his face with both hands and kissed him again, this time capturing the soft lips, his tongue gliding in, wanting more. He led Blair onto the bed and stretched out over his body, chest to chest, his legs between Blair's thighs. "I love you so much, Chief." Trailing his fingers along his jaw, Jim relished the raw heat of whiskers. 

Eyes dark with arousal locked with his. "I love you, too, Jim." Blair's cock pressed up into Jim's belly, musky scent filling the air. Lifting up, Jim aligned their erections before he rubbed, allowing the friction to build. Blair whimpered, his head back, exposing his neck. Jim watched while his own pleasure whirled inside him, the heaviness weighing his balls, the silky flesh fire against his skin. Increasing the pressure, he rocked, maintaining contact, his cock thrusting against Blair's. 

Pushing back, Blair drew Jim down closer as he licked and nibbled his neck, the rhythm going faster. Sparking at ground zero, Jim arched up suddenly, the slam of coming bending his bones. Sweet splashes of color swirled the air, his brain too airy as Blair jerked beneath him, his soft grunts feeding him even more pleasure. 

Lying still for several long moments, he groaned and slowly rolled over to his side of the bed. Without speaking, he snatched up a handi-wipe from the table and cleaned off both their bellies. Blair remained quiet, his lips swollen, his sex dazed eyes watching every move. 

Tossing the wipes away, Jim snuggled in and sighed. "I love the way you feel." 

Smiling, Blair hugged Jim even closer, his chin resting on the top of his head. "Same here, rock solid and horny." 

Chuckling, Jim teasingly kissed the nearest nipple, Blair's flesh salty and hard beneath his tongue. "I'm not the only one who's horny." 

"Then we're a perfect match." 

Still warm and fuzzy from coming, Jim relaxed even more as Blair held him, his arms the most comfortable place to be. "I think it's more than just being horny, Chief." 

"Maybe." 

"You know what I was thinking?" 

"That my cock would be great dipped in chocolate?" 

Smiling at the delicious image, Jim shook his head. "No, but I won't rule that out for later. No, I was thinking you're all I've ever wanted. I can't imagine my life without you. I used to be so afraid of being this close and here I am closer than I've ever been." Blair's heart beat faster, his breathing hitched. Glancing up, Jim spotted the flushed skin and bright eyes. "Didn't know I could be so mushy, huh?" 

"It's not that. I feel the same way. Sometimes it's kind of overwhelming." 

Nodding, Jim nuzzled Blair's furry chest and closed his eyes. "But in a good way." 

"Oh, yeah, man, the best." A soft kiss caressed the top of his head and Blair shifted into a more comfortable position without releasing his hold on Jim. "Guess we should get some sleep. It's after two and you've got court tomorrow." 

"I hate court." 

"I know." 

"You could come with me to keep me company." 

Blair chuckled, his voice hushed and sultry in Jim's ear. "Just think about the chocolate treat I'll have waiting for you when you get home." 

"Semi-sweet or milk?" 

"A little of both." 

Groaning into his pillow, Jim smiled as Blair eased himself under the covers. "You're a devil, Chief." 

"Just versatile. Now, go to sleep. You'll be dragging your ass tomorrow and Simon will blame me." 

"With good reason." 

"That's not the point. I want you well rested." 

"So I can appreciate your chocolate cock?" 

"Among other things." 

Chuckling to himself, Jim whispered, "Night, Chief." 

"Night, Jim." 

Closing his eyes, Jim drank in the nearness of Blair, his arm draped around his waist, his warm breaths on his neck, the fine hairs tickling his skin. Jim's senses swam in the lush, salty scent of his lover and friend. Floating between awareness and dreams, he smiled knowing that in both worlds Blair showed him a future he never believed in before. He finally knew his fortune and with Blair's love, he always would. 

The End 

* * *

End Threads by Grey: Grey853@aol.com

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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